My mother has said most of these to me at least once!!
1.
My mother taught me
TO APPRECIATE A JOB
WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me
RELIGION.
"You
better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My
mother taught me about
TIME TRAVEL.
"If you
don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My
mother taught me
LOGIC.
"Because
I said so, that's why."
5. My
mother taught me
MORE LOGIC.
'If you
fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with
me."
6. My
mother taught me
FORESIGHT.
"Make
sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My
mother taught me
IRONY.
"Keep
crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My
mother taught me about the science of
OSMOSIS.
"Shut
your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My
mother taught me about
CONTORTIONISM.
"Will
you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10.
My mother taught me about
STAMINA.
'You'll
sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11.
My mother taught! me about
WEATHER.
"This
room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12.
My mother taught me about
HYPOCRISY.
"If I
told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13.
My mother taught me the
CIRCLE OF
LIFE.
"I
brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14.
My mother taught me about
BEHAVIOR
MODIFICATION.
"Stop
acting like your father!"
15.
My mother taught me about
ENVY.
"There
are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful
parents like you do."
16.
My mother ! taught me about
ANTICIPATION.
"Just
wait until we get home."
17.
My mother taught me about
RECEIVING.
"You are
going to get it when you get home!"
18.
My mother taught me
MEDICAL
SCIENCE.
"If you
don't stop crossing your eyes, They are going to freeze that way." OR "If you
keep sitting on your foot, one day your going to get up and it will be stuck
there."
19.
My mother taught me
ESP.
"Put
your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20.
My mother taught me
HUMOR.
"When
that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21.
My mother taught me
HOW TO
BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you
don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22.
My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23.
My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut
that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24.
My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25.
And my favorite:
my mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you